Motivation vs. Passion.
If you read my last blog post, you already know what my “goals" for 2019 are. Hopefully, you have some of your own! If you don’t and you’re already perfect, ripped, successful, and happy… good for you.
We’re only a week or two into the new year. As the month progresses, maybe your motivation slowly starts to descend. I understand that.
Here is something that I learned from Mel Robbins who is the author of the amazing book, “5 Second Rule”.
Motivation is crap.
It’s fake news. It’s an illusion. We confuse our lack of motivation to be a lack of passion…. that’s not what it is. Sorry, friends! Motivation is kind of the same thing as excitement. It’s a burst of emotion and as such is not meant to last forever. Do you think Quentin Tarantino woke up every morning for ten years just psyched and motivated out of his mind to continue writing the intricate storyline of “Inglorious Bastards”? Probably not. I mean I do not know Quentin personally, ( I would LOVE if I did.) but i’m sure somedays he woke up, wanting to do something else but got to writing because it was a habit.
For a long time I was a victim of my own “motivation”. I would get a great idea and think “oh my gosh this is my new passion, I love this! This is what i will do for the rest of my life cuz it is so GREAT!”.. then about 1 month later I would tell myself my “passion” had died for it and I would quit and move on to the next “passion” of mine.
First it was going to school to be a pharmacist (yikes), then it was to be n PR, then it was to be a musician, then I wanted to be a weight lifting “gym rat”, then I loved running and cardio, next was writing, and then I wanted to be a singer, then it was nutrition, I loved working with and helping children with disabilities, I wanted to volunteer, then I wanted to be a eyebrow microblade artist, then I wanted to be a stay at home mom, then I wanted to be a health coach, then a podcaster… the list could go on for EVER. I had tried so many different jobs and majors and “passions”. Don’t get me wrong, these are all great things to want to be! Through these, I found my true passion was not so specific… I had a passion for making other’s feel understood and heard. I had a passion for connecting with people on a deeper level. I had a passion for entertaining and communicating.
The difference between the endeavors of mine that STUCK and were (semi) successful and the ones that were not and short-lived…. wasn’t the amount of motivation but the amount of discipline. My motivation was off the charts for some of these things, but they didn’t stick because I didn’t make it a habit. I didn’t develop muscle memory for it. Motivation is bullsh*t. Sorry ‘bout it.
Like I mentioned before, I went to the gym every single day for 2+ years straight. I loved it. No, I didn’t love the pain, the soreness, or the inconvenience. I didn’t skip into the gym whistling everyday. In fact, most days I begrudgingly dragged my feet in that locker room. And NO, I didn’t leave everyday feeling amazing either! Over those 2 years, with the help of diet and exercise I lost over 25 lb. and I kept it off. The only way I could do this was because well… I just did it - just like Nike told me to.
Your fleeting thoughts…. that self talk that is just flowing around in your head… most of it isn’t even your real voice. They are just a jumble of words or ideas making their rounds through your brain. They don’t really mean most of what they say to you… so don’t take them so seriously. You have to find a way to only listen to the voices that are telling you the truth. When you hear, “just call in sick to work today, you are kinda grumpy and tired. You need a day off.” really think about if that’s what you really want. Not what you want RIGHT NOW… what you deep down REALLY WANT. Maybe you have a deep desire to spread love to the world. You want to spread love with your music. Which means you need a bigger pay check, so you can add more to your savings account so you can finally buy that new gear for your sick DJ set-up so you can become the greatest techno DJ this generation has ever seen and bring smiles to party-goers faces around the world so they can momentarily forget about all the worries in their life while listening to your sick new 7 minute song.
It’s important to figure out your true passions and what really drives you… a deeper purpose. It’s also important to just get sh*t done even if you don’t necessarily enjoy it if it contributes to a greater purpose.
If you are struggling with your new year’s resolutions or any goal of yours…. ask yourself what you really want out of it. What drives you in life? Ask yourself “What kind of person do I want to be?" rather than “What do I want to have or do?”
Now break your goal down, think about how exactly you are going to make that possible. Break it down into the tiniest, most specific steps possible. Then execute. When you wake up in the morning and you don’t want to go to the gym… ignore the thoughts telling you that you’re tired or you’ll go tomorrow…. ignore them like they are spam telemarketers calling your phone! Act through the chatter… push your body to go through with it. Create habits because habits create your life.